Skip to Main Content

Skip Nav Destination

Article navigation

July 01 1996

The Tension Between Empathy and Assertiveness

Robert H. Mnookin,

Robert H. Mnookin

Robert H. Mnookins is the Samuel Williston Professor of Law at Harvard Law School, Chair of the Steering Committee of the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School, and Director of the Harvard Negotiation Research Project.

Search for other works by this author on:

Google Scholar

Scott R. Peppet,

Scott R. Peppet

Scott R. Peppet is a Lecturer on Law and Graduate Fellow in Law and Negotiation at Harvard Law School.

Search for other works by this author on:

Google Scholar

Andrew S. Tulumello

Andrew S. Tulumello

Andrew S. Tulumello is a law clerk to Judge Pamela Ann Rymer of the U. S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit. This article is part of an ongoing negotiation project focusing on the roles lawyers play in negotiation.

Search for other works by this author on:

Google Scholar

Author and Article Information

Robert H. Mnookin

Robert H. Mnookins is the Samuel Williston Professor of Law at Harvard Law School, Chair of the Steering Committee of the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School, and Director of the Harvard Negotiation Research Project.

Scott R. Peppet

Scott R. Peppet is a Lecturer on Law and Graduate Fellow in Law and Negotiation at Harvard Law School.

Andrew S. Tulumello

Andrew S. Tulumello is a law clerk to Judge Pamela Ann Rymer of the U. S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit. This article is part of an ongoing negotiation project focusing on the roles lawyers play in negotiation.

First Publication: July 02 2007

Online ISSN: 1571-9979

Print ISSN: 0748-4526

© 1996 Plenum Publishing Corporation

1996

Plenum Publishing Corporation

This is an open-access article distributed under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0) license, which permits unrestricted use, distribution, and reproduction in any medium, provided the original work is properly cited. For a full description of the license, please visit https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/legalcode.

Negotiation Journal (1996) 12 (3): 217–230.

https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1571-9979.1996.tb00096.x

Abstract

This article explores two central dimensions of negotiation behavior: empathy and assertiveness. Empathy refers to the process by which negotiators demonstrate an understanding of their counterpart. Assertiveness refers to the process by which a negotiator articulates and advocates her interests. Although many people experience empathy to be incompatible with assertion and vice‐versa, the authors suggest that the most effective negotiators develop expertise along both dimensions.

REFERENCES

Alberti

,

R.

and

M.

Emmons

1990

.

Your perfect rigbt: A guide to assertive living

, 6th Ed. San Luis Obispo , Calif. :

Impact Publishers

.

Blake

,

R.R.

and

J.S.

Mouton

1964

.

The managerial grid: Key orientations for achieving productions through people

Houston :

Gulf Publishing, Co.

Eisenberg

,

N.

and

J.

Strayer

1987

.

Critical issues in the study of empathy

. In

Empathy and its development

, edited by

N.

Eisenberg

and

J.

Strayer

. New York :

Cambridge University Press

.

Fensterheim

,

H.

and

J.

Baer

1975

.

Don't say yes when you want to say no: How assertiveness training can change your life

New York :

Dell Publishing Co.

Filley

,

A.C.

1975

.

Interpersonal conflict resolution

. Glenview , Ill. :

Scott, Foresman

.

Griffin

,

D.W.

and

L.

Ross

1991

.

Subjective construal, social inference, and human misunderstanding

.

Advances in Experimental and Social Psychology

24

:

319

–

359

.

Jackson

,

S.

and

M.

Allen

1987

.

Meta‐analysis of the effectiveness of one‐sided and two‐sided argumentation.

Paper presented at the annual meeting of the International Communication Association, Montreal, Quebec

.

Johnson

,

D.W.

1971

.

Role reversal: A summary and review of the research

.

International Journal of Group Tensions

1

:

318

–

334

.

Kohut

,

H.

1984

.

Introspection, empathy, and the semicircle of mental health

. In

Empathy

, vol.

1

, edited by

J.

Lichtenberg

,

M.

Bornstein

, and

D.

Silver

. Hillsdale , N.J. :

Analytic Press

.

Lax

,

D.A.

and

J.K.

Sebenius

1986

.

The manager as negotiator

. New York :

The Free Press

.

Lowe

,

M. R.

and

M. A.

Storm

1986

.

Being assertive or being liked: A genuine dilemma

Behavior Modification

10

:

371

–

390

.

Neale

,

M.A.

and

M.H.

Bazerman

1983

.

The role of perspective‐taking ability in negotiating under different forms of arbitration

.

Industrial and Labor Relations Review.

36

:

378

–

388

.

Nichols

,

M.

1994

. 1995.

The lost art of listening

. New York :

Guildford Press

.

Rahim

,

M.A.

1983

.

A measure of styles of handling interpersonal conflict

,

Academy of Management Journal.

26

:

368

–

376

.

Rahim

,

M.A.

ed

1989

.

Managing conflict: An interdisciplinary, approach

. New York :

Praeger

.

Rogers

,

C.

1980

.

A way of being

. Boston :

Houghton Mifflin

.

Ross

,

L.

1995

.

Psychological barriers to conflict resolution

. In

Barriers to conflict resolution

, edited by

K.

Arrow

et al. New York :

W.W. Norton and Company

.

Rubin

,

J.

et al.

1994

.

Social conflict: escalation, stalemate and settlement

. New York :

McGraw Hill

.

Sternberg

,

R.J.

and

L.J.

Soriano

1984

.

Styles of conflict resolution

.

Journal of Personality and social Pslychology

,

47

:

115

–

126

.

Sternberg

,

R.J.

and

D.M.

Dobson

1987

.

Resolving interpersonal conflicts: An analysis of stylistic consistency

.

Journal of Personality and Social Psychology

,

52

:

115

–

126

.

Stone

,

D.

1995

.

The power and paradox of empathy

.

Unpublished manuscript, Harvard Negotiation Project, Cambridge, Mass

.

Strayer

,

J.

1987

.

Affective and cognitive perspectives on empathy

. In

Empathy and its development

, edited by

N.

Eisenberg

and

J.

Strayer

. New York :

Cambridge University Press

.

Thomas

,

K.

1976

.

Conflict and conflict management

. In

Handbook of industrial and organizational psychology

, edited by

M. D.

Dunnette

. Chicago :

Rand McNally College Publishing, Co

.

Thomas

,

K.

1974

.

Interpreting your score on the Thomas‐Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument

. Tuxedo , N.Y. :

Xicom Inc

.

van de Vliert

.

E.

and

C.M.

Prien

1989

.

The difference in the meaning of forcing in the conflict management of actors and observers

. In

Managing conflict: An interdisciplinary approach

, edited by

M. A.

Rahim

. New York :

Praeger

.

Weisberg

W.

and

S.

Korper

1993

.

Acknowledging the other party's perspective: Enhancing negotiation without giving away the store

.

Unpublished manuscript, Harvard University, Cambridge, Mass

.

Williams

,

G. R.

1983

.

Legal negotiation and settlement

. St. Paul . Minn. :

West Publishing Co

.

Wilson

,

K.

and

C.

Gallios

1993

.

Assertion and its social Context

. Oxford , N.Y. :

Pergamon

.

Wispe

,

L.

1987

.

History of the concept of empathy

. In

Empathy and its development

, edited by

N.

Eisenberg

and. Strayer , New York :

Cambridge University Press

.

This content is only available as a PDF.

© 1996 Plenum Publishing Corporation

1996

Plenum Publishing Corporation

This is an open-access article distributed under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0) license, which permits unrestricted use, distribution, and reproduction in any medium, provided the original work is properly cited. For a full description of the license, please visit https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/legalcode.